June 2025
In my last monthly write up I didn’t write about a major event at the end of May because I didn’t know where it was going. Over the past few months Pip has been really unwell and the last week of May he took a turn for the worse where his health massively declined to the point that it was unfair on him to keep him going while he was in obvious pain, even with pain medication. So the decision was made to put him to sleep. This was my first experience of being present when a dog was put to sleep; it was bitter sweet in seeing him so relaxed and at peace with the sedative, no more pain, no more discomfort, only the happiest of dreams. He lay across a blanket covered in butterflies which made me think of my Mum and how the two of them never got to meet, but now they were going to meet. While at the same time it was an uncomfortable feeling of sadness in knowing what was happening, and what would happen in the end.
Initially after there was a lot of sadness and some disturbed nights as I kept hearing phantom barks, as the month went on it eased, but the sadness would come in waves out of nowhere. It’s walking downstairs and expecting him to be in the back room, or coming home and expecting him to be there. He wasn’t in this house for long time in the grand scheme of things, but he has made an impression on these walls. He is and will always be missed.
We’d been cooped up inside the house for some time with everything that had happened, not really in the mood to be social with anyone, however we thought it would do us some good to get out. So we went to Stanstead House Garden Center to look at a few things for the garden, in particular we were looking for a garden clock which we found, and ended up with a few new plants. While there we visited the Pavilion Tea Rooms, it was a nice experience and visit, but I felt overpriced for what it was, I guess they are selling the illusion of being a Lord or Lady. We also visited the farm shop there which had a few things of interest there; we ended up buying some local cheeses and some lamb burgers (which were really nice, but I prefer beef) which felt rather luxurious. It’s a lovely place to visit though and has some wonderful walks in the area.
When I was younger I took up photography as an A Level which I thoroughly enjoyed; spending time in a dark room developing the photos in particular. However it was a period of time where things were beginning to switch over to digital and that didn’t appeal to me… Twenty four or so years later and I’ve splurged on a Canon EOS R10 with an RF-S 18-150mm IS STM lense and taken it up again. I’m learning from scratch but some things are still there. I’d spent time using my phone in pro mode to take photos but it felt uncomfortable, touching a screen and fiddling with sliders, having the new camera has made me remember just how much more of a tactile sort of person I am; eye to the viewfinder, twisting the lense, rolling the sliders, and that ‘click’ of a button. It’s been a trip down memory lane and brought some joy. At present I’m still learning to use the device with its plethora of functions so I’ve not ventured out of the house, but I hope to. I also subscribed to the Canon EOS Magazine which I’ve found to be quite inspiring and full of useful information.
On the 19th Min and I went up to see Amanda Palmer perform at the 100 Club which called for a blog entry that you can find here - Amanda Palmer @ The 100 Club
We made it home in time to see in the Summer Solstice, which involved a 4am wake up and some time in the garden where I got to experiment with some settings on my camera to try and grab some nice shots. Min danced a few hedge morris steps as the sun rose too. It’s been lovely being able to celebrate these events with them. As a bonus we managed to stay awake all day, set up a fire pit, and watch the sun setting.
It has been a trying month as my child returned to school after having a long period off to recover after their operation, it started quite okay but very quickly became difficult with the amount of freedom they were being given by the school; they could basically turn up and leave whenever they wanted. They’ve been finding themselves increasingly tired in the morning even though they’ve been keeping consistently to the bedtime routine; in bed and all devices locked down by 22:30, out of bed by 06:30-07:00. However as the month went on it turned out that while at their Mum’s house they were staying up until after midnight and sleeping in on the mornings! It’s hard when there’s no consistency between the houses.
In the later parts of the month a lot of this began manifesting into poor behaviour like when they were in Year 5/6, attempting to break out of the house via the doors and windows to return to their Mum’s house, fortunately there has been no violence towards me this time which I am grateful for. Then on the flipside refusing to leave my house to go to their Mum’s when they had to and running away from her house to come here. It has been tough.
Back in 2019 I started to grow a beard, which may not sound like anything special, but to me growing this beard was my first step into being my own individual person and styling myself how I wanted to be. I’d always wanted to grow facial hair but I had it drummed into me how it wasn’t ‘smart’ or ‘acceptable’ so I never grew one, as I got older when I’d considered it again I was told how it was ‘disgusting’ and how repulsed my then wife was of the idea. In 2019 I wanted to start living my life and this was my first step; I was going to do something I’d wanted to do for such a long time, and it was about time I did something for myself. So this month my beard turned 6 years old and it is a reminder whenever I look in the mirror that I can do things that I want to do, and head towards goals that I want to accomplish. Now 6 isn’t an important age, however I’ve decided to up the ante and take a full year without grooming and see what it looks like next year - so watch this face!
During this month we’ve been visiting the garden center to pick up new pots and plants for the patio, during one of these excursions we detoured to find food and discovered a lovely pub in Denmead called The Fox & Hounds it’s a fantastic pub with such welcoming and friendly staff, and the food was delicious! I do recommend it if you find yourself in the area.
Since Min moved down to Portsmouth with me we’ve had quite a few visits from Reading friends and this month we had some down to visit Piecarumba in Southsea which was a really good experience. It’s so nice that I can offer space for people to visit, to show them parts of where I live, but it’s also really good that Min has people who make the trip and make an effort to come down and see them. As for the venue, I personally prefer the one in Winchester, but the staff were lovely, the decor was great, and the pies were yum!
Games
Second Life - Much the usual; took over a Kingdom of Fisher-people.
Red Dead Redemption 2 - Still playing although finding myself less interested in it these days.
Helldivers 2 - A friend recommended this and I ended up grabbing it; it’s rather enjoyable and does scream Starship Troopers.
Movies & TV
Deadwood, Season 1 (Show) - A brilliant season that I really enjoyed rewatching; it introduced the characters so well.
Deadwood, Season 2 (Show) - Much more action and a lot of feeling, there were many points throughout this season that really tugged at the feelings.
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (Movie) - Great fun and absolute silliness. The amount of well known actors shocks me even today!
Deadwood, Season 3 (Show) - As fantastic as I remember.
Deadwood: The Movie - I don’t recall if I’d watched this before, but I thoroughly enjoyed seeing all the old cast return, and the stories of the characters ten years in.
Poker Face, Season 2 - Started watching this which has been fun. Each episode has been very interesting and cool, I’m curious to see where the whole season takes us as what I thought would be the main came to a conclusion very early in.
Westworld, Season 1 - Really fun to re-watch knowing what’s going to happen at the end of the season, it was rather fascinating seeing all those tell-tale signs so early on.
Westworld, Season 2 - A very slow burner which was hard to get into, but by the end it redeemed itself and was fantastic, but felt like a lot more messy than Season 1.
Westworld, Season 3 - Started on this one. So far I’m enjoying it, but it’s no Season 1.
